Mid-July—They hated it! They really hated it!
So when your edits don’t come in on time, that usually means they hated it. My edits for my second draft of my YA novel were very late. The they were supposed to come in June. By mid-July I got a cryptic email asking to set up a meeting so that I could explain to them what I was thinking with this second draft. I am not a fan of living in the past, so I asked if they could share their thoughts. After a few emails back and forth, they sent of list of things they didn’t like. You name it, they hated it. The pacing, the characters motivation, the chapters breaks, the reveal at the end, and it went on and on. They hated all the changes I had made to the book. When we did get on the phone to meet, they wanted me to explain myself, but to my way of thinking, that’s useless. The more we talked, the more they expressed love for the first draft. I don’t know that they were that expressive about how much they loved it when they gave me my notes, but I guess hindsight is 20/20. We ended the call agreeing to work on an outline that pulled elements of draft 2 into draft 1. This book has been dramatic from beginning to end, so why should it get easy now? The upshot was while they got their thoughts together, I would have more time for myself. This delay couldn’t have come at a better time. It’s summer! Let’s get the relaxing and socializing on. I could really use a break from the writing.
In the pause, I worked on book promotions, publicity items, and the anthology I’m editing. I also did another workshop and hosted friends and family who came in town for various reasons. I’m practicing a no-panic approach to life so that I can see the gifts in life—even in things that appear to be a burden (like the fact that my father’s truck broke down days before Hurricane Ida hit. It turned out that he needed a brand-new battery that the repair shop did not have and the auto supply shop he walked to did not have. He spent the day waiting for the battery to come in special order, got a ride back to the auto repair shop, then waited more time for them to fix his car. It felt like a horrible day, but now that the storm has hit, it feels like a gift that his truck broke down when he did, because he would have been stuck somewhere in the storm and his cell phone service was not working post-Ida, so he would not have been able to call for help. Seeing the good in things is my new religion.
Mid-July—I’m an editor now!
A friend called me earlier in the year and invited me to co-edit an anthology with her. I was terrified of the work and I had no idea how I would fit it in my schedule, but I decided to say yes. If I wanted to have an experience of doing an anthology, it would be better to do it with someone else. Both my co-editor and I have full plates. We worked together to post the announcement in June, but I hadn’t reached out to my network. Of course, I was worried if I didn’t do everything I could to get submissions, I’d regret it. But I also work on conserving my energy constantly, so my author administration took priority over the anthology. Once I ran through all the pressing author items in June, I finally took a moment in mid-July to email my network and invite them to submit.
Whenever I get a call to submit to an anthology I always *want* to submit, but I never have the energy or focus to do so. It struck a bit of fear in my heart for editing an anthology. If I never want to submit to anthologies, how can I expect people to submit to mine? Well, I reached out to everyone I could think of and did my best to get folks to submit. In the end we got over 100 submissions from approximately 50 authors.
Mid-July—This is my future!
I was taking part in a self-development workshop and I was working on using my voice. I noted that whenever someone asked me to do a workshop, I would design one on the spot and then have a successful session from it. But, I would never choose to do a workshop on my own—I would wait to be asked to do it. From there, I realized, there’s nothing stopping me from choosing to do a workshop. I told the group about the Writing What Scares You workshop I had done some five years ago, how successful it was, though I had never repeated it. The person running the session invited me to submit a proposal to host a workshop at her center. I did and held the workshop in July. Folks with many different motivations participated. And since we were a small group, we didn’t need to do breakout sessions, so we were able to create a beautiful healing circle that contained the whole group. While I was hosting, I felt so moved by the healing happening in the room. I have been told many times that I am a healer, and I am absolutely drawn to supporting people in developing nurturing relationships to themselves and their processes. While people were processing and growing and feeling supported, I felt total alignment, like this is what I need to be doing. It was an amazing experience!
One of the practices I’ve been working on is activating my ideas. If I have an idea to do something, I work to support myself in doing it. I have to battle the “have to” and “it’s not perfect” and “are you sure?” internal voices, but I am usually nurtured by the act. I also have to face the dreaded act of self-promotion, which I do not enjoy, but I so love seeing all the people come to expand their writing practices and I love supporting people in growth. Life is contradiction and it’s about balancing the comfort with the discomfort to reach your goals.
August—I’m a reading machine!
One of the things I was terrified of in deciding to do an anthology was reading. How would I read all the submissions? When would I find the time? I have gotten really bad at reading over time. I used to love to read and give people feedback on their work, now I avoid it at all costs. But then I got a gift that seemed like a setback. My editors didn’t like my draft, so there were weeks and weeks of conferring that put a pause on my writing schedule. Suddenly I had time! I started with cataloguing the entries. I have project management training and tracking and documenting is a huge part of my day job. So I set up a spreadsheet to get the lay of the land. Then, after I had catalogued a chunk of submissions, I dove in. I quickly established a process and read a few entries a day. I didn’t get them all read as quickly as I thought I would, but I got them done in a two-week time span. I made notes and I’m ready to discuss with my co-editor. I feel so much joy and relief that I was able to meet the challenge!
I read over 100 submissions and made notes on potential edits. I am prepared to write editorial notes and send emails to authors. Exciting!
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REFLECTION
Peace of mind is golden. Having the power to avoid panic and turn to gratitude during crises and set-backs is essential. Believing that everything, even “negative” things, have been built for your highest good is life giving. I am working on continuing to believe that the universe is conspiring in my favor. That means I don’t have to know exactly how I will get things done. (I had NO room in my schedule for the anthology, but that space magically cleared when the YA novel came to a standstill.) At the end of the month, I also got the news that my book release that was slated for September was pushed back to January. My reaction: Thanks for the update. It may be the hugest gift ever, I have no idea. I will embrace it as goodness and carry on.
Self-Talk Script: The universe is conspiring in my favor. The map of cause and effect is broader and deeper than I can see with my two human eyes. This is my path therefore the way will be cleared. Divinity has a hand in even the most mundane tasks. If I maintain my physical and mental well-being, the work products will fall in place.