Working with writers in the writing sprints. I can see how profoundly the mental side of writing affects everything. I see it in myself too. To get to the end of a project you have to wrestle with doubt and discipline. There are so many points in a project where doubt can rear up. And every time it rears up, you have to decide do I have the discipline to move past doubt and keep moving forward?

It’s crazy, because as writers we have to arm ourselves against so many emotional minefields that lead to doubt. There is:

• the unknown: Writing starts with an idea and when you dive into it, you are literally shaping something out of the unknown. Throughout the whole process you have to answer the question what am I writing? At the outset, the questions loom largest as you ask: What’s the best structure? What’s the best approach? It can become challenging between drafts—especially when you know you have a lot of work to do. Then, you’re not just wondering how you’re going to get through the edits and make your book/project whole, you’re also wondering how long will it take to write it.
• our flaws: We’re human, not machines. It is in our very nature to be influenced by a multitude of factors that leave us productive one day, not productive the next; confident one day, full of doubt the next. Mot often, when we see our human habits emerge, we see it as a flaw; we take it as evidence that we aren’t supposed to be doing the work. Each time we miss a writing sessions, write less-than-perfect sentences/scenes, develop plots that meander, feel confronted be the topics or the work itself, reach an obstacle in the narrative, the doubts rise up. Instead of pushing through, we want to turn away and avoid the challenges.
• our significance/insignificance: It’s a catch 22. Just by committing to a project, you are asserting the significance of your voice and ideas. And as soon as the road gets rocky, you ask yourself: Who you think you are? You’ll never get this published. If you do, who will read it? This doubt is on the meta level. It’s a contradiction, because if you never do the work, you’ll never find out the significance of the project. BUT if you don’t believe it’s significant, you may never finish it. What a web we weave!

Doubt is often driven by two things: Failure in the past and questioning the point/purpose/value of the work. The questions spiral around our brains—Is this good? Is this important? Will this matter? Will I even finish it? We doubt the work, we doubt our process, we doubt our skills, we doubt ourselves.

Unfortunately, the battle doesn’t end. Some projects are easier than others. Some skills are easier to learn than others. Some doubts are easier to confront than others. Sometimes writing feels like a joy and sometimes it feels like a battle. More accurate for me, it is joy wrapped in battle. It’s all battle on the outside: fighting to get writing time, fighting my exhaustion and avoidance to sit down to write, fighting my doubt to say, I can clear the space to do this, I can do another draft of these 300 pages, I can enter or re-enter this journey. Then once I do, then I’m with my characters again, I believe in the journey again, and I’m back in stride doing what I love doing.

I guess the question will always be there: Will you do battle to get to the joy of writing? Sometimes it’s a little skirmish, sometimes it’s a long protracted battle. But the sweetness of world-building, imagination flexing, and creative expression is on the other side.

As I write this, I’m gearing up to battle. Gearing up to get back on my writing schedule and return to the writing grind. It’s time to reunite with my characters and do a major overhaul on my last draft. I have not been psychologically ready to face it for some weeks now, but I am finally getting there. How about you? Are you ready for the battle?