I’m just back from a five-week trip to Costa Rica. The week before I left I was MISERABLE. I was twisted up with anxiety and upset because I would have to work on my book while I was traveling. I had faced burnout in the first half of the year and this trip was supposed to give me restoration and reflection, relaxation and release. Working on my deadline for draft 5 of this novel was not part of the plan!

I had to meet with my therapist, three friends and consult my oracle cards twice to come out of the other side of my misery. Ultimately, I understood and embraced that everything I do is because I want to live a good life. And I want to live a good life in the now. I don’t want to be making myself miserable in the present moment for future joy. I wanted joy at home while preparing for my trip and I wanted joy on my trip. So I pulled myself together and let it go. I understood that my trip would be fantastic whether I had to write while traveling or not.

And I worked it out. On the first leg, I gave into all my instincts and desires to explore and sacrificed two days (and half a travel day) to writing. On the next leg, did the same: two days. And in the third leg, two full days and two half days. Was it tough—yes, especially at the end. Did it mean surrendering some of my relaxation and free time? Yes. But I did it. I completed the draft while on the road and sent it in to the editors.

We’re at the very end of this journey. I expect the next draft to be the last—though, real talk, we expected this fifth draft to be the last too. Two weeks ago, I posted about integration and that work continues. Maybe traveling isn’t something “other than” my life, maybe it’s a part of my life, as is writing. And maybe they got smushed together because they both matter to me and they both deserve a significant place in my life.

I am—in real time—getting some clarity in my life. It is truly an honor to write and create worlds. Me letting it be a burden that’s dragging me down and ruining my retreat isn’t really treating it with the honor it deserves. Writing is a completely different experience from traveling and it dominates my days when I’m on deadline, but it deserves the space that it requires—it deserves days to be cleared for the work to come through. 🙏🏾

So, here I am, on the other side, very very very intrigued to find out what will happen next with this ever-evolving manuscript.

Onward.

—K.