I wrote about my recent attendance at the Readercon festival. And I mentioned how struck I was by all the evidence, or artifacts, of my presence in the genre, and my efforts in the genre. These traces of me hit me on a cellular level. Shook me up in the best way possible.

Truth be told, I didn’t need that conference to remind me of who I was. I pine and long for that raw creative spirit that used to drive my writing sessions. But I don’t think I could see what a waste is was until I saw evidence around me of possibility.

After that weekend, I found myself thinking, I don’t want to carry on without really reconnecting with fiction. As is my instinct, I thought, how can I re-engage, but in a small, sustainable fashion?

My experimenting self is quite busy. I’m running spiritual workshops and groups. I’m writing a spirit-based newsletter (and barely keeping up with my writing newsletter) and managing a new spirit-based social media account. I’m definitely full of projects. Yet, it’s interesting how being super engaged in one area, frees you up to be looser and less strict in other areas.

Case in point, I came back from a doctor’s visit and had a few hours left of cafe open hours. I was exhausted, but I also didn’t want to waste my work day. So I convinced myself to show up at the cafe anyway. I decided I’d work on whatever felt right. All the event and newsletter based stuff felt like it was drawing a bit too much on my brain. So I turned to a book proposal I had been working on.

What’s hilarious about this is I hate working on book proposals. My first session working on it did not encourage me to want to continue. Yet, when faced on working on a bunch of stuff I didn’t feel like working on, I was suddenly open to working on the proposal. And you know what, working on it while exhausted was the best thing. I just did what needed to be done–I didn’t do any more or less.

So here I am, super busy, yet I’ve decided that the answer to my slumbering engagement with the fiction muse is a Substack. 😂 Yep, yet another project. I’ve made it super doable. Two microfiction stories a month… plus two posts with back stories. That’s got me writing. (I pray this project does not become a monkey on my back, but remains an opportunity for play.) My goal is to spend so much time writing fiction that the prospect of writing a short story is not horrifying and is not immediately regarded with self-doubt.

Another year, another project. We shall see how this experiment ends. The first story is up!

Here we go,

Onward!

—K.